Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Randomize
