there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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