I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
