so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
