PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
