I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
