She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
