How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
