So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Randomize
