He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
