I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
