Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
