I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
