i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
