Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
