DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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