counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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