btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Help me help you realize you are a moron
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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