Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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