He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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