I just pynch a tree in the face
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
