If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
