just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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