youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
