Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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