my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
