I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
