drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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