I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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