I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We got so high we made milksteak
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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