somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
