I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
