I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i will never coherently bang her
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
3 2 1 whiskey
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
