Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
