Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
only if we run a train.
done.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
