Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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