i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Did I show you my penis last night?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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