i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
