Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
