please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I take back everything I said about communal showers
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
