i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
