On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
