I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
