I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
