I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
