do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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