i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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