Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
