is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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