im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
