the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
