I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
