return my video game
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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