I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
