My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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